Exit interview

I didn't get one when I was laid off, and it's been a year now, so let's pretend, shall we?

Did you like working at your last job?

I always did, even as people kept getting laid off and the product got worse and worse, through no fault of the rank and file. (Amazingly, the people in charge of deteriorating the product are still in charge, thanks to the economy largely stopping the layoff bleeding.) I liked the vast majority of the people, I liked the work and I liked that it still meant something. But it was heartbreaking to watch a once-proud paper get destroyed by morons who didn't know anything about it, despite the best efforts of the rank and file.

Anything you would have done differently?

I wouldn't have been so damn agreeable. I almost never turned down overtime or trading with someone else. I would start at 6 p.m. one day and 11 a.m. the next day, and I never complained. I should have. But I was too worried about losing my job. So much for that, eh?

Anything else?

I really didn't develop a social life outside of work (where I was younger than everyone else by a lot) and the friends I had in high school and college. In part, that was because it was really hard with an ever-changing schedule. (For example, I couldn't do a church young-adult group because it met on Sundays, and I always worked Sundays.) Thankfully, the friends I had were quite accommodating, and I got to spend enough time with them.

Were you surprised that your job was eliminated?

Yes and no. I just got that bad vibe a few days before, though I slept well the night before I was laid off. But I thought to myself -- didn't they just spend all this time training me to do other stuff? And haven't I been involved in a whole lot of new sections and other things? (Yes and yes.) For some reason, they didn't factor that in. And now I'm using those skills elsewhere, and those skills are being appreciated elsewhere. At this point, it's my prior employer's loss.

You realize you got dumped just to keep older people from suing, right?

Yes. But the prior employer hired me when I was 22 years, 2 months old. They made that investment in me ridiculously early in my career, which I'll never be able to thank them enough for. The problem is, though, that that made the layoff harder to understand. Don't they want people who can work across media? Don't they want people in the demographic they're trying to attract in hopes of saving the newspaper? Don't they want people who show up for work on time, are respectful to all involved and work hard?

Apparently, they didn't, and that's a bitter pill to swallow. Supposedly, someone tried to save my job, but failed, so I bore the consequences of bad decisions.

Angry much?

At times, yes. After all, I tried so hard to do everything right, and it didn't matter. Compounded with my broken arm and moving home, it set off a horrible downward spiral that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

But I had a lot of support, which not everyone has. And I had an old job I could return to in playing the organ, and I just didn't know how much I missed it until I was doing it again. I've reconnected with my family. I've learned a lot. So when I feel that anger, that resentment, it always helps to remember that. If I impressed my old employer, just imagine what I could do in the future. I'll be fine.

So don't worry about me. Old wounds sometimes take a while to heal. But it's a process that, slowly, is making me stronger.